Because I am over seventy, the next step was a face to face meeting in Indy with Dr. Nephrologist, a member of the Transplant Team. It felt like an audition. I considered wearing a costume and taking my castanets.
Then there were the tests - stress test, echo cardiogram, chest x-ray, colonoscopy, dental exam, mammogram, blood and tissue typing, leg circulation tests and Pap smear. Check.
I was telling all of this to my great nephew and when I got to Pap smear, he said, "I thought that was a drink."
"That's Papst Blue Ribbon beer," I replied.
"Oh, yeah."
I passed the tests for hepatitis, syphilis, AIDS, Epstein Barr and tuberculosis. Check.
And the tests for every drug known to man. Check.
At last I have certification of sorts that I am not a lunatic. I was not referred for more psych evaluation so I must have passed the psycho/social tests. Check.
After passing all the tests I assumed that I would be put on THE LIST.
"Raise your hand if you're on THE LIST! Not so fast, Mary Ann."
The head of the transplant team, Dr. Chief Surgeon, has concerns about The Alien Baby. What?
In 2014, Dr. Nephrologist here in Bloomy wanted a scan of my kidneys. He discovered a very, very, very large cyst on my liver. I named it The Alien Baby.
It was decided that The Alien Baby was benign and should be left alone - until Dr. Chief Surgeon in Indy said, "No! The Alien Baby must go! It could go berserk and cause an infection post-transplant and we don't need to deal with that!"
So The Alien Baby was removed by fabulous liver surgeon Dr. Magico at University Hospital in Indy on September 18, 2017. It weighed seven pounds. OMG.
Dr. Chief Surgeon is happy. I am happy. My liver, kidney and diaphragm are happy. Everyone wins! Except The Alien Baby.
I should have taken a before photo. If I had, I would have looked like this. (Thanks, Photoscape.)
I had to remove photographs of The Alien Baby. It was scaring too many people.
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